


Before It's too Late

by jessejackreyes



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: A little bit of fluff, Angst, Blackwatch Jesse is in it, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gabe tries to fix things, Jack is not handling things well, M/M, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Some pining, Unhealthy Coping, followed eventually by healthy coping, jack is a mess, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:11:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessejackreyes/pseuds/jessejackreyes
Summary: “Just tell me what's wrong,” Gabriel did not plead, but he was damn sure coming close to it right now. Jack scanned him carefully in a way that made Gabriel’s heart sink, face impassive and cold. It was how Jack always sized up his opponents, trying to anticipate how best to defend himself and others from them. It was suddenly crystal clear that this wasn't merely a fight, Jack considered him an enemy right now, dangerous even.





	1. Cold Indifference

**Author's Note:**

> This got stuck in my head and I needed to write it out to move on with my major projects. this is mostly finished, but I am still editing the other parts. I'll be updating this frequently until it is finished. It's not super long but each individual chapter is pretty short. So there are still several chapters.

“Get out of my office,” The distant and bored tone Jack used set Gabriel on edge.

“Not until you tell me what's got your panties all in a twist,” He replied trying to get a rise out of the man.

“I'm not in the mood for your shit right now Reyes. If you want to insult me come back later, when I'm not busy,” Jack’s face was an impassive mask, eyes distant and hard. It was not a look that Gabriel liked seeing. He also did not like it when the man insisted on calling him by his last name. Even if he had to accept that they would never be more, they'd been best friends for well over a decade. They were way beyond that.

“I'm not trying to insult you,”

“Well you failed,” Jack spat with a venom that Gabriel had rarely heard from the man. It hurt realizing it was aimed at him. Something was very wrong.

“Just tell me what's wrong,” Gabriel did not plead, but he was damn sure coming close to it right now. Jack scanned him carefully in a way that made Gabriel’s heart sink, face impassive and cold. It was how Jack always sized up his opponents, trying to anticipate how best to defend himself and others from them. It was suddenly crystal clear that this wasn't merely a fight, Jack considered him an enemy right now, dangerous even.

“I don't have time for your games. So, if you're not here to insult me and you don't have any actual business I would appreciate it if you got the fuck out of my office,” There was no warmth in his tone, not even an angry heat. It was cold and dismissive and every word made Gabriel's heart ache a little more.

“Come on Jackie, please just tell me what the problem is,” Jack bristled at the nickname and that cold mask of indifference was briefly replaced with an anger that would normally have felt better than it did right then. It should have been like any of their other fights, but that anger was directed at the wrong thing. Gabriel was suddenly reluctant to use any of his many nicknames for Jack, to avoid that glare.

“Just do whatever it is you are going to do and leave me to my work commander,” He wasn't even using Gabriel’s last name anymore.

“Okay, I get that I should know better right now, but I don't. So please tell me what's wrong,” When Jack made a point of ignoring him he continued. “Tell me and I'll leave,” Jack sighed, not a fond sigh, or even an exasperated one. It was a sigh of utter defeat.

“Recruiting McCree…” Those words had barely left Jack’s mouth before Gabriel interrupted.

“If this is about him shooting you, he's already apologized and…”

“Shut the fuck up Reyes!” The cold anger in his voice froze Gabriel in place. “Of course you want to make me out to be some petty piece of shit. You don't think I'm capable of handling this job, but I have spent the last few months defending you and you're fucking department because you couldn't be bothered to consult with me about the damn kid before you recruited him!”

“I don't need your approval to hire people Jack,”

“Yeah, but your actions have goddamned consequences. There are quite a few very influential people that hate you and will use any excuse to get rid of you. They had cut your funding by almost half, before I managed to soothe things over,” Gabriel hadn't heard a thing about losing money. “I had to give up so much ground I've worked long and hard for just to keep you from losing half your agents. How well would that have gone over with your people Reyes? Letting half of them go in order to hire a former criminal,”

“So I should have just let him rot in prison because some suits don't like him?”

“No! You should've talked to me. I could have headed this off, minimized damage or even spun it into something positive. Instead you just laughed as you humiliated the strike commander again and made me cleanup your mess,” 

“So what? You have some suits upset at you?”

“Oh my god! You always try to make me out to be some asshole. Do you think people want to give us money Reyes? Do you think they want to help us rebuild other places? Well, shocker, they don't. I lost millions in funding for medical and emergency services just so you could laugh at me when I realized you had hired the kid who shot me. There are now thousands of people that I had resources lined up to help that I can't anymore. They get to struggle to survive because you wanted to pull a goddamned joke on me,”

Gabriel was uncharacteristically quiet as Jack reprimanded him. He had not expected Jack to be as upset at he was, but more so he had not expected the cause to be so serious. Recruiting Jesse should not have had significant repercussion.

“Well, if you're done playing the fucking idiot I've got to work on a speech to explain to the public why I cannot provide the level of aid I had promised. You should tune in. You'll get to hear me admit to everyone that I'm not cutout for this job.im sure you'll get a kick out of that. Hell, maybe you can help me instead. Why don't you just write up how incompetent you think I am and I can just use that as my script,”

“What are you talking about?” Gabriel’s brow furrowed. He didn't think Jack was incompetent. Jack did a great job running everything, he just occasionally made bad field calls, but since he was rarely on the field it barely mattered.

“Whatever,” The dismissal in his tone hurt. “I answered your stupid fucking question. Now get out of my office before I have security escort you out,” 

Gabriel didn't even argue. He simply turned around and walked out the door slowly. In five years they had screamed and insulted each other, but Jack had never once threatened him. Jack was his best friend, but the last several minutes seemed to imply that Jack did not think the same about Gabriel. He faintly heard people talking to him on more than one occasion, but he was too far in his own head with worry to know where he was going, let alone even trying to listen to anyone talking to him.


	2. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next little part to this story. Gabriel begins to understand why Jack is so upset at him.

“What crawled up your ass and died boss?” McCree’s voice broke him out of the daze that he had wandered the base in. He should've been irritated at the familiarity with which he was addressed and reprimanded the kid, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

 

“Nothing, just had a chat with Morrison,” He tried to keep his voice level and neutral.

 

“Ah sorry boss. What's the asshole bitchin’ about now?” 

 

“That is no way to speak about a superior officer McCree,” His eyes flashed dangerously as Jesse regarded him, confusion in his eyes.

 

“Sorry, s’just the way everyone talks about him. Given how you feel about him’” Jesse replied sheepishly, turning away from Gabriel’s glare.

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“Well you clearly resent him and have no respect for his authority. I may be new here and all, but all o’ Blackwatch follows your lead on that one. Not an ounce o’ respect for him in the whole barracks,” Gabriel suddenly felt very ill.

 

“I fucked up,” He announced to no one in particular. “I fucked up bad,” Jesse stared for a moment as realization dawned on him.

 

“I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you don't hate the guy,” Gabriel doesn't even have to respond.

 

“Does everybody think that?”

 

“Blackwatch does and the few people from Overwatch I've met don't like you because of how you disrespect him and make him miserable. They don't understand why he puts up with you,”

 

“He trusts me,” Gabriel barely whispered the words before he slammed his fist into the nearest wall. The cement gives way before his hand does. “He goes through all this shit for me to keep my job because he trusts me,”

 

“Well, he knows ya better than I do,” McCree shrugged.

 

“What's that supposed to mean,” Gabriel was mere moments away from losing what little cool he had managed to maintain right now and the boy was not helping.

 

“I'm pretty sure you're gunnin’ for the man’s job,” McCree responded with another shrug.

 

“I couldn't do what he does,” Gabriel admitted through gritted teeth.

 

“Do you not hear yourself talk boss?” Jesse asked incredulously. “Just yesterday you was sayin’ that you would fix all these problems Overwatch has been having real easy if you was in charge,” The damn kid rolled his eyes as he spoke.

 

“I don't want to sit behind a desk and smile for cameras. I would quit in a month. That's something Jack does brilliantly, even if he hates the attention,”

 

“Well, you ever tell him that?” The question stunned Gabriel. He was about to respond that of course he had, but he couldn't honestly remember ever saying as much to Jack.

 

“I fucked up real bad,” he repeated instead.

 

“Do you think he's a good strike commander?” 

 

“Of course. It's amazing he's kept this whole thing running for half a decade given how dead set on being greedy assholes everyone is. You'd think that the near annihilation of the human race might’ve gotten people to work together, but it's pretty much Jack keeping the world from falling apart right now,” Gabriel had thought he was helping, but now he wasn't so sure.

 

“You ever told him anything like that?” They both knew what the answer most likely was before he even asked the question.

 

“I have no idea,”

 

“Well, you said the computer listens to everything I say in the more public areas of the base. She might remember if you did,” That was not a bad idea.

 

“Athena,”

 

“Yes commander?” A mechanical voice replied moments later.

 

“I need you to analyze any and all conversations you have on record between me and strike commander Morrison,”

 

“The contents of such files are confidential. I cannot divulge them without proper cause,” She informed him.

 

“I don't need you to divulge the contents, just analyze my sides of the conversations and answer a few questions,”

 

“I will attempt to answer so long as your questions do not violate other people’s privacy,”

 

“Okay, great. I need to know if I have ever told commander Morrison that I think he is a good commander or that he is doing a good job,”

 

“One moment,” Gabriel was suddenly very nervous, like he was waiting for the results of a test. “I have analyzed 613 conversations over the past five years that involved more than simple pleasantries. Keep in mind that this does not include conversations over communications devices, off base or in the privacy of anybody’s quarters,”

 

“I understand. I need to know the answer,”

 

“Over the course of the last five years I have found seven instances of what I deem to be unqualified praise about his actions as strike commander. The most recent of which was approximately three and a half years ago.”

 

“How complimentary was I,” His voice was weak, the question worthless, but he asked anyway.

 

“That is hard to gauge given your propensity to mix jocularity with your praise. It might be inappropriate to divulge, but on those occasions the strike commander appeared happier than I have ever seen him,” He slammed his head into the wall this time, the concrete gave way before his skull did. “I have compiled related statistics that I believe are relevant to your inquiry if you would like to hear them,” Gabriel laughed bitterly.

 

“Sure, why not,”

 

“Over the course of these 613 conversations: you questioned and/or circumvented his orders 202 times, insulted his leadership 135 times, called him an idiot 256 times, called him an asshole 154 times, told him to fuck off and let you do your job 69 times, insisted that he had no authority over Blackwatch matters 131 times, called him pathetic 59 times, called him a kissass 158 times, told him he does not deserve to be strike commander 13 times. Many of these conversations took place in front of groups of subordinates,”

 

Every word dragged him deeper and deeper into the horrible pit of realization that Jack probably hated him, that he had been fucking horrible to his best friend without really meaning to. He hadn't intended to be. He was angry for a while about the promotion, it was bullshit, but he didn't even want the job. He had gotten over it or at least he thought he had.

 

“Enough, I get it,” He was too far gone to even be angry at this point.

 

“I apologize if I have upset you commander,” She responded politely.

 

“It's fine. I asked for it,” Athena went silent and the only noise in the hall was the soft breathing of him and McCree.

 

“You fucked up real bad boss,”

 

“Damnit! I have to fix this,” Gabriel stalked off rapidly. He needed help and there was only one person that would be able to.


	3. A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else was he going to ask for help? This is still a fun exercise in a quicker writing style than I am used to. I am glad people are enjoying it.

“I'm an asshole!” He all but shouted as he spotted Ana coming in from her morning jog.

“I am well aware Gabriel,” She replied passing by him without even glancing his way. Gabriel fell in step next to her. She always figured out very quickly when Gabriel needed to talk and to get him alone so he didn't say something private in public. They walked together to her quarters and away from prying eyes and ears.

“No Ana, I'm a huge asshole and I don't know what to do,” He reiterated as the door closed behind them. He didn't have the presence of mind to explain himself effectively, but she seemed to understand what he was talking about anyway.

“I am going to tell you what I have been saying to both of you for the last few years. Talk to him Gabriel,” She spoke calmly, taking a seat as Gabriel paced back and forth anxiously. “You two have been dancing around your feelings for a long time. You need to talk about more than just the promotion.”

“I think it's too late for that. He wouldn't even say my name. He threatened to call security if I didn't leave him alone,” He clenched his fists as he spoke, trying to find someway to relieve the worry in his gut.

“Well given how long it's taken you to pull your head out of your ass I can't say I really blame him. Jack is patient to a fault, you know this,”

“I can't believe it took him five years to snap like this. I would've kicked my ass to the curb years ago,” The anger in his voice was directed at himself.

“Luckily for you, Jack did not. I do not believe that it is too late, not if you act right now. But if you run away from this chance I do not believe even Jack will have the patience to wait for you any longer,”

“I don't see how he can even stand being around me right now,” Gabriel was not going to cry.

“It was not all bad Gabriel. Whenever you two weren't fighting you had a great time together. Remember the Christmas party?”

“The one where the highest ranking officer in our organization got the day off and spent it dressed up as Santa?” She nodded as he reminisced. “He went around giving gifts to every agent he ran across,”

“Remember how he roped you into joining him on his present giving spree?” He did remember. They ran all around base to make sure that anyone who didn't get to go home had something nice for Christmas. “You two had a great time,”

“He went to the party dressed as Santa too. Had special gifts for everybody,” 

“Yours was the biggest surprise that night,” 

It had been a huge shock when Jack gave him a new beanie. He was so nervous about it too. It had looked strange, black with a skull motif, and awkwardly shaped, because Jack had actually made it himself. He had learned to crochet just to make it for Gabriel. It had apparently taken him months and it was more flawed than Gabriel would ever admit out loud, but it had been just about the best gift he had ever received. Jack had taken his initial speechlessness to mean that he had hated it. The idiot was trying to take it back before Gabriel had hugged him and thanked him for it. They had such a great time together and now Jack hated his guts.

“He's a great commander Ana,” Gabriel didn't cry, his eyes sometimes watered uncontrollably, but he definitely didn't cry. “He hates me. How do I make it up to him?”

“There's no grand gesture that will fix this, no single action you can take. Talk to him, apologize and listen. Show him that you are trying. He does not hate you,”

“He doesn't even want to see me. How do I even talk to him without getting thrown out of his office?” Ana did not react as he began shouting as he spoke.

“He hasn't been eating well recently. Make him something he’ll like and show up around dinner,” She told him.

“Thank you,” His mind was racing with thoughts of how thin Jack had been looking recently. It should have sounded alarm bells earlier, but now all he could think of was the different things he could make Jack to eat. 

“You are not the only one at fault here Gabriel, but Jack needs you to make a move. He is tired of being rejected when he tries to extend an olive branch.” 

“I really fucked this up didn't I?” He sighed.

“It often takes more than one person to screw something up like what you guys had,” She replied thoughtfully. “It will definitely take both of you to fix it,”

“What if he doesn't want to try anymore?” Fear gripped his heart at the thought.

“He does, he is merely angry right now. Let him be. You know just as well as I do that he holds it back too much. Just be there for him. Give him the patience he has shown you. He is drowning right now Gabriel, despite my best efforts. We already saved the world once and he will work himself to death to do so a second time,”

“Why hasn't he asked for help?” Ana glared at him, giving him a look of incredulity. 

“He is terrified of upsetting you. He would hold a crumbling world up by himself rather than risk making you mad at him any more than he thinks you already are,”

“I'm not mad at him,” Gabriel froze at the irritated look Ana gave him.

“Lately you two can't be in the same room without fighting,”

“Alright, I'm sorry,” Gabriel relented. “I don't want to fight him, I want to help,”

“I understand that, but he does not. Show him. Right now it is entirely up to you what happens next,” She sighed and Gabriel could see how tired she was too. They had saved the world from destruction, but this was destroying them. “Do not make me regret helping you Gabriel,”

“I won't,” He promised. “I'm not messing this up again,”

“Good, now get out and let me shower in peace,” 

He left her quarters in a hurry. There was a lot to gather if he was going to be ready with Jack’s favorite in time for dinner. Someone almost asked him what he was doing in the kitchen behind the mess hall, luckily for whoever that was they thought better of it. The last thing he needed was to explain himself to someone lower ranked than him right now. He just wanted to focus on making a meal that Jack will love


	4. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack lashes out while Gabriel try's very hard.
> 
> Edited in an attempt to fix a problem pointed out in the comments. It's a quick fix so it's not perfect, but it should be an improvement overall.

“Come in Ana,” Jack’s gravelly voice called through the door as his hand met it softly. He froze. She had told him to expect her, that was how he was going to get in to see him. He opened the door hesitantly, walking in slowly with a tray of food.

Jack did not even look up as he entered, face buried in paperwork that had piled up on his desk. Gabriel got a good look at the strike commander for the first time in way too long. Heavy bags hung under his eyes, he looked exhausted. He had lost a lot of weight. Gabriel should have noticed and been doing something to help a long time ago.

Jack’s eyes met his and his face twisted into a sneer as Gabriel placed the meal he had made on the desk. Gabriel avoided meeting the blonde’s gaze, he did not have the heart to survive the anger and pain he would find there.

“What is this Reyes?” Jack’s voice was cold and uninterested, his gaze shifting back to the work on his desk. Being ignored like that hurt more than he ever thought something so simple could.

“I heard you were too busy to eat so I brought you something,” Gabriel replied sheepishly. Perhaps it was the uncharacteristic display of nerves that seemed to briefly confuse Jack and kept him from simply biting Gabriel's head off.

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself commander. Despite what you may think,” 

“I just wanted to help out a bit. I know you're busy,” He regretted his choice of words, especially given how much harder he had made things recently, but Jack silently began to eat the food he had placed down. That was a small, but good sign. “I'm sorry..”

“Don't,” Gabriel shut up immediately. “I don't want to hear it, not right now,” Every fiber in his being was screaming at him to say something, anything, but something in Jack’s voice gave him pause.

He felt like the silence was going to swallow him whole. It was going to drown him. He held onto the soft sounds of Jack eating the food he had made for him. Focusing on the fact that He had not thrown the food out kept the panic he felt from overwhelming him.

“You want to know what the most pathetic part is?” Jack asked suddenly, breaking the silence. He didn't actually wait for an answer before continuing. “I didn't want to be strike commander, I was perfectly happy being your second. But, when they offered me the job, I was so excited. I thought you had turned it down first, because you hated the politics attached to it, and had recommended me instead. I thought you believed I would make a good commander. Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard, you thinking I was good enough for this?” Being impaled through the stomach would have hurt less than this.

“Jack,” His voice cracked. “You're a great commander,” Jack’s cold laughter sent a shiver down Gabriel’s spine. 

“That's a great joke Reyes. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time,” The strike commander remarked bitterly, slamming his hands down onto his desk and nearly launching himself out of his seat and onto his feet. They stared at each other, faces only separated by the width of the desk between them until Gabriel averted his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” He saw the punch coming, he didn't try to dodge or block it, even though he could easily have done so. He's sure that the right hook broke his nose, blood was pouring rather profusely from the wound. 

“I said don’t,” Jack calmly snarled from across the desk, eyes still boring into Gabriel’s. The physical pain didn't even bother Gabriel at the moment. He had endured much worse than this.

“I'm sorry Jackie,” He did not mean to apologize again, knowing that it would only upset Jack, it just slipped out. He did not even see the second hit coming, it knocked him out cold like no one but Jack ever could. 

He awoke the next afternoon in the medbay. He barely paid attention when he was told the extent of his wounds, they weren't important. He did not complain, nor tell anyone where the bruises were from or why his face was bandaged. If it had been anyone else he would have quickly responded in kind, but this was Jack. The boy scout had never raised a hand to a friend or ally in anger as long as Gabriel had known him. Things had gone further than Gabriel had feared if the strike commander turned to violence. 

Besides, if Jack had actually wanted to hurt him, he would've done much more than hit him a few times. Hell, he had done worse to Jack when their arguments got really bad, though Jack normally didn't even retaliate. Jack would just let Gabriel hit him without complaint. Gabriel needed to show that same level of patience if he wanted to show that he was actually trying.

He avoided most everyone all day, it was easier than explaining the wounds. He would heal up by the end of the day, super soldiers healed quickly after all, and they would both move on from this. He made dinner again, another dish he knew Jack liked a lot and, shortly after dinner had started, he was in front of the strike commander’s office again.

He knocked, waiting patiently to be allowed in. He placed the tray of food in front of the obviously hungry commander. Jack didn't give the bandages on his face a second look, nor did he apologize, which was fine. Gabriel wasn't looking for an apology. He would thank his lucky stars if that was the worst that Jack did to him. As far as he was concerned he deserved worse. Jack ate the food offered to him without complaint, but they exchanged no words.

Gabriel tried to speak once, it ended with Jack's fist in his stomach and him gasping desperately for breath for several minutes. Instead he stood in the room in awkward silence until Jack was done eating taking away the trash and dishes so they wouldn't bother him while he was working. He was made to wonder if this was what Jack had felt like, too afraid to do anything because he might upset Gabriel. Gabriel could barely stand it for a few days. How had Jack lasted years like this?

He repeated the routine everyday, always finding time to make something new and filling for the strike commander. The silence hurt more with each passing day, but he always returned. The plus side to all of this was that Jack looked healthier than he had been in awhile. As Ana had said, the idiot would work himself to death if the people around him didn't keep him from doing so. Gabriel should have been helping take care of him from the start, but atleast now he Gabriel could at least make sure he ate well. Eventually though, something was going to have to give. Work would eventually call him away from the base.

“I'm leaving on a mission tomorrow,” Gabriel said simply while Jack ate. It was a good sign that the blonde hadn't struck him for daring to speak. “I've made arrangements to make sure you still get a good dinner while I'm gone,” Jack ate slowly while he spoke giving no indication that he even heard what Gabriel was saying. “I should hopefully only be gone a week,” Silence returned as he finished what he had to say. He stood by in silence and waited for Jack to finish eating like he had everyday for the past two weeks.


	5. A Night's Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another little chapter. Gabriel returns from his mission briefly and tries to help Jack out before he has to leave again as another mission calls him away soon.

The mission took nine days. Everything went smoothly, even if it took a little longer than he had hoped. Despite the ease of the mission, they were the longest days of his entire life. His thoughts were never on their goal, never on their target. It's honestly a wonder they were even successful when all he could think about was getting back to Jack.

It took every ounce of willpower he had not to rush to the man’s office the moment the ship touched down. Instead he walked to the kitchens. It was early evening, he had made it in time for dinner. He was exhausted and filthy, but he would be damned if he couldn't do this for Jack. Jesse wandered in a few minutes after he had started preparing, shocked to see him.

“Welcome back boss,” He drawled as soon as he overcame the shock. “Shouldn't you be cleanin yourself up?”

“Later,” Nothing was going to keep him from Jack this evening and bringing him food was the only way he ever got to see him. He was shipping out again very soon, even as early as tomorrow depending on when their Intel paid off. This evening might be the only chance he got to see the man before he was gone again for who knows how long.

“I can do this for ya boss. Been doing it since ya left,” Jesse insisted, trying to shoo the commander out of the kitchen.

“Has he been eating what you bring him?” Gabriel asked instead, brushing the younger man off.

“Yessir. He was surprised the first time, but I apologized for causing trouble and he didn't try to kill me or nothin’,” 

“He's mad at me not you kid. He's never been one to blame people for other people's actions,” Jesse watched him as he worked quickly on the meal he was preparing for the strike commander.

“I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is about more than just being his friend,” The stare that Jesse received from his commander could freeze the blood of a lesser man’s veins. But, this situation was getting out of control and he was not going to let Gabriel do something stupid again if the strike commander meant so much to him.

“I'll take that as a yes,” The glare fell away and Reyes merely sighed, turning his attention back to the food.

“Get out of here Jesse,” His voice was tired and lacked the commanding presence it normally managed and the young agent made no move to obey.

“He seems more depressed than angry jefe. I would suggest talkin’ to him about whatever this is between you,” The young cowboy walked off before Gabriel could argue with him, leaving him to finish cooking in peace.

Jack’s door unlocked the moment he knocked on it and he let himself in with his meal for the evening. Jack looked like he hadn't slept in days. It was probably true too. Ever since they went through the SEP Jack has had the incredible ability to work for several days at a time with no sleep. It made him testy, but he had been able to keep watch for days at a time during the crisis while the others would need to sleep. It had been extremely helpful back then. Now he used it to keep up with all of the work he had to do.

Jack looked up at him as he laid the food out on his desk, staring through tired eyes. His face hurt to look at, those bright blue eyes lost the wonderful shine that he had fallen in love with, not that he had ever admitted it. Instead they seemed dull, almost lifeless as they watched him rather than falling immediately on the food as he had gotten used to.

“You're back,” It was not really a question.

“Yeah. Just pulled In a bit ago,” He responded weakly, unable to tear his eyes away from the man affording him attention without seeming angry for once.

“You look like shit,” Jack’s voice was tired, not angry or insulting.

“I'm fine,”

“Sit down,” He commanded. Gabriel hesitated before taking the seat across from the strike commander. They sat in silence for a moment. “You came straight here?” Gabriel didn't actually respond, there was no need. “You look hungry. Eat,” He probably should have declined, but he was tired and hungry and the thought of sharing a meal with Jack was too good to pass up, even if he hadn't made enough food for the both of them.

The silence stretched on as they ate together slowly. Gabriel had a million things he wanted to say, wanted to tell Jack, but no matter how hard he tried he could not will his body to speak. All he could do was whatever Jack said and wait for something else to break first. 

He cursed his cowardice, his weakness. He had made food for Jack and now he was eating part of it because he was too pathetic to decline to eat with the man because at least this way he could pretend that Jack didn't hate him. He could pretend that things were like they were before this promotion, before he screwed everything up. 

“That was delicious Gabriel,” Jack mumbled as they finished eating.

His heart was beating quickly and he needed to get out of there because he couldn't suppress the smile that the small compliment had elicited from him. It was another tiny sign that maybe he could fix this. He had to will himself to stay. He couldn't let his pride get in the way again, couldn't let it ruin his chances.

“You should get some sleep Jack,” He offered softly, trying not to sound like he was lecturing the man. The blonde tensed momentarily and Gabriel was worried that he had misstepped again, but instead Jack just sighed.

“Can't sleep.”

“You have to try,” An apology came as quickly as the words had left his mouth. “I'm sorry,” Gabriel averted his gaze. He did not want to see Jack glaring at him again. “I'm not trying to nag,” He added quickly. “I just remember what it was like when you did this during the crisis and I'm worried,”

“It's not like people even let me sleep,” Jack replied instead of biting his head off.

“They will right now,” Jack looked skeptical of such a claim. “Trust me,” Gabriel hadn't hesitated to ask for Jack’s trust. Years ago those words would have been enough to get him to do just about anything, but that was in the past now. Gabriel, instead, got to watch the strike commander hesitate and consider what to do. He knew Jack didn't trust him anymore, but seeing it directly still hurt.

“Okay,” It was practically a whisper and took a long time to be said, but the agreement to trust Gabriel had his spirit soaring. Even after everything Jack was willing to give him a chance.

“Great,” Gabriel exclaimed, not even bothering to try to hide the good mood he was now in. “You get to bed and I'll handle the rest,” It took way longer than reasonable to get Jack actually in his quarters to get some well deserved rest, but Gabriel was immediately on his new mission.

“Athena I need you to hold all of the strike commander’s calls until further notice,” He called out to the AI.

“Commander Reyes, I do not believe I need to inform you that you do not have the authority to do that,” The AI informed him calmly.

“No, but I am willing to go to extreme lengths to help Jack get some sleep. It would simply be easier and less destructive if you helped me instead of me making sure it was actually impossible for anyone to call him,” Gabriel informed her casually.

“I will be forced to inform the strike commander of what you requested,”

“That's fine. As long as it's after he wakes up and no one disturbs his sleep I don't care,”

“Very well. I am choosing to trust your intentions. However, I must inform you that I can intercept only digital interruptions. You must handle anyone attempting to bother him physically,”

“Don't worry I've got that covered,” Gabriel stalked off to find himself some help. He found McCree head in back inside, probably from a smoke break. “McCree!” The kid jumped to attention comically fast, not that Gabriel had time to appreciate it. “I got a job for you,”

“What d’ya need boss,” He drawled, definitely curious.

“People keep bothering the strike commander while he sleeps and it's starting to piss me off,” Jesse gulped at his commander’s tone. That was not a mood anyone wanted commander Reyes to be in. “I want you to grab some of the gang and run interference around his quarters. No one gets in to see him, I don't care if the director himself shows up,”

“Okay but boss, what if,” He tried to ask before being interrupted.

“If anyone has a problem you send them to me and they can tell me in person why they think they can keep him from sleeping for the first time in a week,” The kid nods rapidly. “I will make sure to have a nice long visit with anyone who wakes him up and I will not be happy,” Jesse clearly gets the point.

“Yessir!” He shouts before running off.

“Oh and Jesse,” The commander calls after the kid. “If Ana shows up just tell her what you're doing. She should approve. You don't want to piss her off,” Gabriel doesn't have time to consider what his men are going to think of this change of heart. All they needed to do is help Jack sleep for the next twelve hours or so. He needed to figure out a solution to people keeping Jack awake while he was gone too, but at least he should get one nights rest.


	6. Dirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a long time cause other bigger projects were a higher priority. But, people asked about it and I had this mostly finished already, so I just finished it real quick.

If the outside world would cooperate and not get in the way for just a little while Gabriel was optimistic of his chances right now. Jack had been willing to listen to him and extend a small amount of trust. Gabriel could be patient and supportive because the end goal was more than worth any of the trouble at this point. The problem was that he was not optimistic about the rest of the world not screwing everything up.

He was wounded in a raid two days after leaving Jack again. It was not a big deal, shrapnel in the shoulder. It would heal very quickly, probably wouldn't even scar. But, it delayed his return to the base for a few days while they dealt with not just his wounds, but half the team having been torn up to some degree. Gabriel was not doing well waiting to be able to leave and get back to Jack. Working he could handle, waiting around he could not.

If that were the only problem he would be in heaven. Not three days out and he heard from the team in Peru. Things had gotten out of control there, some bad calls were made and three civilians were dead. Jack was going to be furious. To top it all of he had to send Jesse out to help resolve everything there, leaving no one to make sure Jack was even eating properly at the moment.

Gabriel was stuck in a limbo the rest of the mission. He wanted to be back at base with Jack right now, but he also couldn't stand to face him. Jack was being neglected again, though not by choice and he reacted poorly to civilian casualties. Jack would probably scream and then Gabriel would get defensive and say things he didn't mean and everything would fall apart again and there would be no putting it back together again.

A day or two of angry wallowing eventually forced him to do something about it. Blackwatch was a more than capable spy organization and if some of these assholes at the UN were giving Jack shit, Gabriel was sure he could find something for the strike commander to use against them. He had several agents who excelled at digging up dirt. He just needed them to have something for him to work with by the time he talked to Jack. That left about three days of events being mostly out of his hands.

His stomach was doing impressive flips as his drop ship touched down in Zurich. There was supposed to be a folder waiting for him in his office with the best info that they had managed to gather upto this point. Gabriel knew it was a short window and that he shouldn't expect much from this project so soon, but he hoped it was at least something to show Jack and help him.

He skimmed through the documents in the folder as he made his way across the base towards Jack’s office. Most of what he was reading was small time, quite a bit of it was deniable, but then he reached the document on Woerner, the biggest pain in Overwatch’s ass in the whole damn UN, and he was both disgusted and elated. They had something very good to show Jack.

Jack was in the hallway talking to some subordinates about something or another, Gabriel wasn't paying attention. He was too busy trying to figure out exactly how to tell him about what had happened. He tried to wait for Jack to finish what he was doing, but the clock was ticking down and he needed to be on a flight to Peru relatively soon, so he should hurry. So he interrupted the strike commander.

“Jack,” Gabriel called out weakly. “We need to talk,” it sounded even worse than it had in his head. The blonde regarded him coolly for several seconds before nodding his head. He dismissed the soldiers he had been talking to and headed into his office. Gabriel followed him quickly and they walked inside, the door closing behind them before Jack spoke.

“What's going on,” Jack asked nervously. There was a significant pause as Gabriel steeled himself to speak. Things had been slowly getting better up until this point and he didn't want to ruin it. He needed to be ready for anything and to control himself no matter what happened.

“There was an incident in Peru,” Jack’s gaze grew sharp and he frowned.

“Define incident,” Jack was in full commander mode, it made Gabriel nervous. He took a deep breath before responding.

“There were some unforeseen complications,” Jack stared intensely while Gabriel slowly walked his way to the actual point. “There was some collateral damage. Three civilians died, a few more were injured,”

“Okay,” Jack did not yell. Instead his voice retreated to a calm, neutral, empty tone of resignation. The kind that would come shorty before he exploded.

“Jack…’ Gabriel tried. The blonde quickly interrupted him.

“Just give me the report so I can sign it,” Jack replied impatiently gesturing to the folder Gabriel was carrying impatiently.

“Jack, please just listen to me,” Gabriel all but begged. Jack's gaze softened slightly at his pleading tone. “I'm not trying to make things difficult for you. We had some bad Intel and things went wrong. I'm flying out to correct it personally in a few hours, but I wanted to talk to you about it so we could figure out how to handle it together,”

“So that is not the report?” Jack asked, voice still carefully neutral.

“No, there won't be an official report for at least a few days,” Jack stared at him coolly as he tried to explain. “I can delay it longer than that if you needed some more time,” He tried to add placatingly. “I just didn't want you to be blindsided by this Jack and to help in any way I can,”

“Not much to really do about this,” Jack was tired and defeated as he spoke, taking a seat behind his desk with a loud sigh.

“Um…” Gabriel started. “I have something that might help,” He held the folder out towards the strike commander.

“What is it Gabriel?” Jack asked, hesitantly taking the folder from him.

“I have some people digging up some dirt on some of the UN council who have been giving you trouble,” Jack frowned, brow furrowed.

“You're blackmailing people Gabriel?” Jack sounded somewhat less upset than he had expected. A few years ago Jack would likely have angrily lectured him about ethics if he had even hinted at doing something like that.

“I haven't done anything, just quietly gathered some useful information,” Gabriel defended himself quickly. “Nothing needs to happen with it if you don't want it to,” Jack opened the folder and began to skim the documents inside. His expression transitioned from some curiosity, to confusion and eventually to outright disgust.

“What the fuck?” There was the righteous anger that he knew and loved.

“Yeah, Woerner is fucked up right?”

“I don't know if I want him in jail or to fucking kill him,”

“Your call,” Gabriel told him as he watched Jack seemingly seriously consider the two options. He tried to not let the surprise show on his face as he realized that Jack entertained the thought of killing someone extrajudicially like this.

“Can you make sure this blows up without involving us?” Gabriel grinned.

“Of course,”

“I have a meeting with Woerner on Friday,” Jack announced thoughtfully. “Delay the report from Peru for several days after that if you can,” Gabriel was a bit surprised by the order.

“Of course,” He agreed anyway. “What should I do about this?” Gabriel asked about the file.

“When are you going to be back in base?” Jack asked instead.

“Saturday or Sunday most likely,”

“Let me know and I'll free up some time,” Gabriel froze at Jack’s words, not entirely sure how to take them, they never spent free time together anymore. Jack looked away, avoiding Gabriel’s gaze as he continued. “We can get something to eat and discuss what we are going to do,”

“Okay,” Gabriel replied dumbly. Jack let out a sigh of relief when he accepted. “I have to get ready to leave,” He announced, the perfect excuse to get out of there before he said or did something to remind Jack that he was mad at Gabriel.

“Okay. See you this weekend,” Jack replied, storing the folder in the locked drawer in his desk.

Gabriel walked out of the strike commander's office completely amazed at how that had went. He had given Jack some really bad news and not only had he not yelled about it, even though he was clearly upset, he had invited Gabriel to share a meal. It looked like they had both almost fallen into their old pattern of fighting, then stopped before it went too far. It looked like Jack was trying and that did nothing but encourage Gabriel to try even harder.


	7. Standards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel gets some unusual news and his meeting with Jack does not go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. Lots of stuff has gotten in the way of me writing. I hope people continue to enjoy this though. I am still writing this to completion.

Gabriel was nervous. They were an hour out from their return to Zurich. Peru had been hell, but his team pulled through for him, even McCree had gone above and beyond. Their actual target was neutralized and they had avoided further casualties and managed to throw the trail away from Overwatch. All in all things turned out about as well as they could've. But, now he was facing the possibility of spending time with Jack and he was nervous. So he tried one of his tried and true methods for ignoring personal problems, he turned on the news. If he was going to be nervous or upset, he could work to make sure it was about something else.

“Pundits were shocked worldwide as Albrecht Woerner endorses emergency funding and deployment act proposed by Overwatch strike commander Jack Morrison,” That was a series of words that Gabriel had never expected to hear. He was suddenly much more interested in the news.

“If you are just joining us for this, earlier today Albrecht Woerner announced that his support for this new act which would authorize granting extra funding and authority to Overwatch and its strike commander in the case of humanitarian emergencies across the globe,” The woman reporting this seemed as surprised as Gabriel was. “This announcement comes after a long private meeting between the two of them held on Friday which Woerner described as surprisingly productive and reasonable. Jack Morrison has not yet been reached for comment,”

“For anyone unfamiliar with Albrecht Woerner, the man is one of Overwatch’s strongest critics. He is known for his skepticism and sometimes outright hostility to the organization, so his endorsement comes as a huge surprise to most sides of the debate raging over the proposal,”

“Woerner further clarified that the act isn't perfect, but the strike commander was willing to compromise and address his biggest concerns in a satisfactory manner. In addition the act goes into effect for one year, after which it must be ratified again. With these constraints Woerner claims that he is comfortable not only endorsing, but coauthoring the proposal and that he intends to work with the strike commander in an attempt to fix the problems left in the proposal before it is resubmitted for ratification in a year,”

The screen pans out, away from the anchor’s face allowing a second person to join her on screen. He continued speaking instead of her as the camera panned away from the first anchor.

“The proposal in question, a controversial piece that the strike commander has tried to pass in the name of expediency and saving lives throughout the many countries still recovering from the crisis, was expected to fail, despite generally positive reception from the public at large. However, with the measure’s greatest opponent now coauthoring it, it is expected to be ratified quickly and easily,”

Gabriel tuned out as the people on screen attempted to try to figure out what had led to Woerner’s change of heart, what could possibly have happened during that meeting. Gabriel knew what had happened and he was rather shocked to say the least. His mind raced, distracted until he heard the pilot call out the five minute eta. This turn of events had successfully diverted his attention and worry for the last hour or so.

He sent a message to Jack that he would be landing in a few minutes and was surprised when he got an almost immediate response. Jack had taken the rest of the day off and would be waiting in his quarters for Gabriel to show up whenever he was cleaned up and ready. That was simple, he didn't have to wait or anything, just hurry up and get over there in his own time. Not that he was going to take long, waiting just made him more nervous.

He showered, changed his clothes and made it out of his quarters in record time, his destination firmly in mind. He stopped in front of the door to Jack’s quarters. He didn’t know if the code that he had would still work. He hadn’t actually been in here in a long time. It was probably best to knock instead anyway. 

His nerves only got worse when no one answered his soft knocking. He repeated it, louder this time, but still no response. The third time he got no response he was starting to worry, unsure of whether or not he should try to call Jack, wait longer or simply let himself in. After another minute or so of indecision he simply input the old code he had used to access Jack’s room, unsure if it would even work.

The door opened to allow him in and he was both relieved and pleased that Jack had not disabled his access to the man’s room. He would have been more pleased if he did not walk into an apparently empty room, there was no Jack to be seen.

“Jack,” He called out softly. “Jack,” He called again, louder this time, when he got no response. That was worrying, he had said that he would be waiting.

He debated briefly on whether or not he should wait here or go looking for Jack. He had already let himself in and wasn’t sure if he should just stroll through the man’s living area like he owned the place. The strike commander’s quarters was basically a small house. A private kitchen, bathroom, living area and bedroom. He decided to check the bedroom rather than wait here for a response. Knocking on the bedroom door, he opened it slowly when he received no response.

“Jack,” He called out again. The room was dark, quiet as he entered. He found a large lump underneath the covers of the large bed that seemed way too big for one person and he knelt down next to it quietly. The body beneath jumped when he gently placed his hand on it. Gabriel was now certain that something was wrong.

“I’m sorry Gabe,” Jack’s voice called out weakly. “I don’t think I'm up for anything right now. Sorry for wasting your time,” Gabriel was too distracted by how broken the voice sounded to enjoy being called Gabe again.

“It's okay Jackie,” Gabriel told him softly, finding his back through the blanket and rubbing it soothingly. “You're never a waste of time,”

Jack didn’t respond, instead devolving into soft sobbing as Gabriel tried to comfort him. He’s not sure how long he sat there trying to reassure the man that things were okay, to calm him down, but he waited with Jack until the sobs died down and his breathing normalized. 

“What's wrong?” He finally asked as Jack seemed to finally calm down a bit, eyes still red and tired.

“It's stupid and terrible,” Jack replied quickly, averting his gaze.

“If it's got you feeling like this it's not stupid,” Gabriel replied calmly. “It's okay to feel like this,”

“No it's not Gabe. It's stupid and fucking terrible,”

“Explain it to me then,” A quiet pause. “Is it about Woerner.” Jack’s body froze and Gabriel knew he had hit on the source of the problem. “Okay so it is about him,” Gabriel continued himself when Jack remained silent. “What happened?”

“You know what happened,” Jack insisted, refusing to talk about it himself.

“I have my suspicions at least, but i want to know why you’re upset like this.” Jack was still reluctant to talk. “I know you don't like dirty work like that,”

“That's not it,” Jack interrupted. “Or at least not completely,”

“Talk to me Jackie. Whats wrong?”

“I’m awful.”

“How so?” Gabriel asked softly.

“I’m disgusted at myself for what I did,”

“You think doing something like that makes you a terrible person is that it?”

“Thats not whats wrong,” He replied forcefully. “If I’m disgusted with myself for something like this, what does that mean I think about you?” Jack was nearing tears as he spoke. Gabriel had to actually hold back a laugh. Of course Jack would beat himself up over beating himself up like this. 

“Do you think I’m a terrible person?” Gabriel asked softly. Jack was mortified by the question.

“No Gabe, I don’t.” He practically sobbed out the words.

“Then what's the problem?” Gabriel asked with a shrug.

“How could you not be upset?”

“You hold yourself to an impossible standard Jack. You always have,” Gabriel explained. “And I have never once seen you try to hold others to it, not even me.” Jack didn't seem entirely convinced so Gabriel continued. “Should I be upset? Do you think I’m terrible for the things I do Jack?” He asked again.

“Never Gabe. I could never do what you do,” Jack always managed to turn these things into self flagellation. He wasn’t praising Gabriel as much as he was insulting himself.

“That’s why I’m doing it Jack. I handle what you can’t and you do the same for me?”

“What can’t you handle?” Jack asked.

“If I had to deal with the assholes you deal with trying to take away money and get in the way of me helping people I would probably end up murdering someone,” Jack’s expression softened to one of surprise. “I doubt the strike commander killing Woerner would have gone over well,” That got a soft chuckle out of Jack.

“No, but it would have been perfectly justifiable homicide,”

“I know right?” Gabriel responded, watching as Jack’s face found itself smiling softly. “Come one Jack, get up and let's get you some food,”

“I’m fine Gabe,”

“No you probably haven’t eaten all day,” He held up his hand to stop Jack’s protests before they started. “I know you Jack. Besides, we were supposed to get some food together anyway,”

“I kind of just want to sleep,” Jack replied, averting his gaze.

“You were just going to lie there miserable and wide awake until you had to get up tomorrow morning Jack. I’m not going to let you go through that,” He expected Jack to argue, instead he simply sighed.

“I don’t really have anything to eat right now,”

“No problem. I have a great idea to deal with that,” Gabriel replied excitedly. “but you need to get dressed.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me Jack, you’ll love it,” Jack didn’t argue or sit and study him thoroughly, instead he smiled softly and agreed. Gabe returned the smile at the simple expression of trust. He really did have a great idea to get Jack's mind off of this.


	8. Evening Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Gabe have dinner off base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to everyone who kudos and comments, I love y'all, they give me more reason to keep writing this to completion.

Gabriel left the room briefly so that Jack could get dressed in peace. He set about sending out several frantic messages in order to get everything he needed together. Jack joined him a few minutes later. He walked out of his bedroom wearing a white shirt that was just slightly too tight and a pair of pants that hugged him in all the right places. He stared despite himself until he noticed Jack’s face flushing, clearly having noticed Gabriel’s un subtle ogling.

“I don’t actually have a lot of casual clothing and I did not feel like being the strike commander tonight,” Jack spoke quickly, justifying his wardrobe choice.

“Good call,” Gabriel replied quickly, recovering his composure. “Probably aren't going to want to be recognized. Might be annoying,” Jack raised an eyebrow at this.

“We are going somewhere then?”

“Yup,” He smirked. “Gotta get you off of this base sometime,”

“The strike commander can’t just leave the base by himself Gabe,”

“I’m all the protection you’ll need Jackie,” Jack snorted out a laugh as Gabriel pounded his chest theatrically. “What? Don’t think I can handle it?” The blackwatch commander pouted.

“No no no. A security detail couldn't handle watching my back as well as you could.”

“Then what's the problem commander?”

“They won’t just let me off base like this,”

“Already handled all of that Jack. Just follow me and put this on,” Gabriel said, handing Jack his beanie. The blonde gives him a weird look, but covers his head and hair with it.

They made their way across base and had passed at least a dozen people before Jack noticed that people must have been so used to seeing him in his uniform that they didn’t notice when he rushed by wearing other clothes, especially with the beanie covering his bright blonde hair. As long as they didn’t run into anyone who looked too closely at Jack, they might not even be noticed on their way out.

They make their way out a side entrance that Gabriel had apparently disabled the security for. Jack just seemed to accept it without comment, which was strange. McCree was waiting for them as they exited the main building with a smirk and a cowboy hat. He whistled when he got a good look at the strike commander. Gabriel scowled at him, but really couldn’t blame him. Jack looked damn good dressed like that.

“Damn. You clean up real good commander,” The cowboy grinned from ear to ear as Gabriel bristled.

“McCree! That is no way to speak to a superior,” Gabriel snapped while Jack simply laughed, his face lighting up. 

“Thank you Jesse,” Jack replied light heartedly, interrupting Gabriel’s chastisement.Gabriel did a double take at Jack speaking so casually to the kid and calling him by his first name. “Rarely have a reason to get out of that uniform,”

“Good thing it doesn’t do you any favors. Don’t know how anyone would get anything done with you around if you always looked like that,” Gabriel grit his teeth as his subordinate flirted with Jack. He was going to kick his ass when they get back.

“You should have seen me ten years ago,” Gabriel cleared his throat loudly before McCree could continue the conversation.

“Ya, I got y’all the car,” Jesse indicated the vehicle they were standing next to. “I’m going out with the guys. Y’all be safe commanders,” Jesse saluted before stalking off to get picked up by another car. Gabriel gestured to Jack to get in the passenger seat.

“You and McCree seem to get along,” He remarked as Jack buckled himself in.

“Yeah. We talk whenever he brings me food for you,” Jack explained as Gabriel took them off base. “The kids alright, if a bit of a smartass. I can see why you recruited him.” Gabriel froze for a moment. Recruiting Jesse had been the thing that started this whole chain of events the last several weeks. This sounded like Jack’s indirect way of showing he wasn’t mad about it anymore.

“He’s a good kid,” Gabriel agreed. “Huge pain in my ass, but more than worth the trouble.”

They drove in silence for a while, neither one of them sure where to continue the conversation. Where they were headed was fairly close to base, so they made it their in a little over half an hour. The anxious energy that had built up through the drive was worth every moment of discomfort when he heard Jack gasp softly beside him. He glanced over to see a soft smile spread across the blonde’s face when he realized where they were going.

“You remembered,” Jack’s voice was soft and full of what sounded like awe. 

“Couldn’t forget about this place if I tried,” It was a small little restaurant, a hole in the wall really, but when they first came to Zurich, before he was strike commander, Jack ended up eating here with some local soldiers. He wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks. He wanted to go back, but things always got in the way and Gabriel was pretty sure he had never managed to do it in the years since then.

Jack’s mood continued to improve. He was practically bouncing in excitement by the time they found somewhere to park. The excitement was endearing. One of the most influential men on the planet practically skipped to get a place for the two of them to eat while Gabriel looked on with a smile.

They were seated immediately, Jack chatting away with the waiter. Gabriel just sat by politely, he spoke a few languages, but none of them were German. The woman serving them was seemingly mesmerized by Jack’s bright smile and charming personality. He laughed softly as the woman left them to figure out what they wanted to eat.

“Something you want to share with the rest of the class Jack?”

“Yeah,” He replied with a smile. “She was recommending things to eat.. She suggested the Zürcher Geschnetzeltes,” Jack simply smiled at the blank look Gabriel levelled at him. “It’s a veal dish if you're up for it,” He frowned.

“I’m not eating baby cows Jack,” The blonde man laughed as Gabriel’s frown turned to a pout. “I’m serious.” Gabriel insisted.

“I know,” Jack made out between giggles. “You’re such a softy when you’re not putting on a badass facade,”

“I’ll have you know I am a certified badass,” Gabriel replied, puffing out his chest.

“Yeah, i remember when Fareeha made you that certificate,”

“She has good instincts Jack. You should listen to her more often,”

“I’ve seen you cry watching cute puppy videos Gabe. There’s no recovering from that,”

“I’m a badass Jack, not heartless,” Gabriel replied with a smirk. 

“Okay Gabe,” Jack rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you should try a Tartiflette,” Jack suggested, shifting the conversation back to food. “Bacon, potatoes, caramelized onions and cheese. No baby animals were harmed in the making,” Jack teased lightly.

“Is it good?”

“It’s pretty good,”

“Alright, I’ll trust you on this. How about you?”

“Oh, I’m getting the Zürcher Geschnetzeltes.” Gabriel gasped.

“Jack no. Think of the cute baby cow. How could you eat that?”

“I’ll show you when it gets here,” Jack replied with a smirk.

“Seriously Jack, it doesn’t bother you?”

“Growing up on and around farms sort of does that to you Gabe,” He answered with a shrug. “If it really bothers you though, I’ll get something else,” The smirk had vanished replaced by a familiar sheepish nervousness.

“I won’t eat it, but I won’t stop you Jack. We came out here for you after all,” Jack smiled again.

“Thanks, cause it’s delicious and like 90% of the reason I wanted to come here,”

“Enjoy your animal cruelty,” Gabriel’s words were playful, they held no bite and Jack smirked back at him.

“It just makes it more delicious Gabe, What can I say?” Jack replied.

The waitress returned and chatted it up with Jack again for a short while. He laughed at some point and she lit up. Gabriel had to bite back the spike of jealousy he felt. Jack had never been very good at reading when people were flirting with him, their relationship would be very different if he had. He knew that the blonde’s side of the conversation was, not exactly innocent, but more ignorant of the reason behind her laughter and attention.

“Something wrong Gabe?” Jack asked as the waitress finally left to put their order in.

“Nothing in particular,” He lied. “Trying to avoid thinking about work,”

“Well, I’ve been trying to cook a little bit recently,”

“Really?” Gabriel feigned shock. “Never seen you make food in my life,”

“You loved my blackberry buckle,” Jack huffed indignantly. “And my macarons,”

“Okay you can bake things. That's not cooking a meal,” Gabriel teased.

“I know, that’s why I said I’ve been trying. It’s helping me to remember to eat more often,”

“I can teach you a few things if you’d like,” Gabriel offered. There was a pause and he had to hide his nervousness awaiting an answer.

“I wouldn’t want you to waste your free time on something like that,” That wasn’t a no. That was a classic example of Jack wanting something, but feeling guilty for wanting it and refusing to ask directly. 

“How is making sure our commander is eating well a waste of time?” He asked softly, attempting to avoid sounding chastising.

“I’m sure there are plenty of things you’d rather be doing,” Jack replied somberly. Gabriel couldn’t think of many things he would rather be doing in his free time right now, not that he could say that.

“I enjoy cooking,” He said instead. “Its also not a waste of time if I’m getting food out of it too,” He added.

“Maybe,” Jack replied after a pause. Gabriel knew that was basically Jack speak for ‘okay you talked me into it.’

Their food arrived and Jack seemed to glow as he ate something he had wanted for around five years, but consistently denied himself. They tried to avoid talking about work while they ate. They talk about Fareeha and Ana, Gabriel shares some stories about Jesse that are mostly not work related. It was wonderful seeing Jack smile and laugh and relax a little bit. 

Eventually the meal came to an end. The food was eaten and their check was delivered. Gabriel did his best to pretend that the night being over already was perfectly fine. He hoped that Jack hadn’t picked up on it; he didn’t want to ruin the evening.

“Hey Gabe give me the keys,” Jack ordered softly, surprising Gabriel.

“Sure, want to drive back?”

“Nah, since we’re already out here there’s somewhere else I’d like to go,” Jack replied cryptically.

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise,” Jack answered with a smirk. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he should feel excitement or thread, but he was hopeful enough to lean towards excitement.


	9. A Walk

Walking along the streets with Jack felt oddly domestic. They were dressed like civilians, had just finished dinner like civilians and Jack was taking him somewhere mysterious. He wasn’t sure exactly if that last part was something civilians did frequently, but it was exciting to say the least. The only thing missing from this picture, in his mind, was the two of them holding hands while they walked.

They strode along in companionable silence which suited Gabriel just fine. It was nice not having to worry about what to say and simply join each other’s company. They have not been able to simply relax together in quite some time and he intended to simply enjoy the ride. He trusted that Jack would take them somewhere nice, not lead him on. Despite everything that might have happened he knew the man hated being deceitful.

“Wait here,” Jack called out suddenly, breaking the silence they had developed. They paused briefly on the sidewalk until Jack was satisfied that he was not going to follow him. “Be right back.” Jack disappeared into a nearby shop before Gabriel could respond.

He was at too extreme of an angle to see into the store through the front windows. All he could see was the majority of the sign above the door. It was unfortunate that he didn’t speak German like Jack did, he might be able to at least guess what kind of place Jack was shopping at. The curiosity wasn’t enough to tempt him to move from this spot like he was asked. Seeing Jack excited was worth way more than that.

The soft smile adorning Jack’s face as he returned some ten minutes latter was more than worth any anxiety the mystery might have caused. His hands were hidden behind his back when he finally reached where Gabriel was waiting for him. Jack’s smile only grew wider as Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the display.

“Close your eyes,” He grumbled but did as he was told. “Now open your mouth,”

“This is getting a bit ridiculous Jack,” He complained softly, eyes still shut tight.

“I know, but just trust me Gabe,” Gabriel sighed, but opened his mouth obediently, trusting that nothing untowards would happen. He briefly felt something thin and plastic carefully hit his tongue, followed almost immediately by the sweet creaminess of ice cream, the sweetest strawberry ice cream he had ever tasted. He opened his eyes to Jack smiling softly at him holding an empty spoon, their faces oddly close. Gabriel’s heart skipped a beat.

“Best strawberry ice cream in town apparently,” The blonde explained, pulling a bag out from behind his back.

“My favorite,”

“I know,” The bag held two rather large buckets of ice cream, the first one strawberry, the second one he wasn’t sure of yet, but he could guess. “It’s been forever since we last binged on some ice cream,”

“Haven’t really needed it without those scientists torturing us every week,” Gabriel answered simply, reaching out to take the bucket meant for him.

“No, just dealing with soul crushing greed and politicians who seem to want to kill more people than the damn machines ever did,” His tone is light and joking, but Gabriel doesn’t miss the way his eyes don’t seem in on the joke. Jack opened his own bucket of ice cream with far more force than necessary.

“Don’t tell me you got one of those chocolate monstrosities again,” Gabriel said with a smirk, changing the subject to something more fun.

“I’ve known you for well over a decade and I still can’t get how anyone could hate chocolate,” Jack scooped a spoonful of dark brown frozen goodness and placed it in his mouth, practically moaning at the taste to emphasize his point. “It’s sooo good Gabe,”

Gabriel was grateful at that very moment that it had always been hard to read when he was blushing. He had imagined Jack saying things like that, making noises like that in a very different situation, much more often than he would ever admit to anyone. It was difficult not to picture what he would look like underneath Gabriel when he made sounds like that. He couldn’t trust himself to speak at that very moment, so he stuffed his mouth with ice cream instead.

Perhaps Jack didn’t know what to say either because the two of them made their way back to the car slowly and quietly. Gabriel tried to focus on the ice cream and how it tasted; it was delicious after all. But, he cast sidelong glances at the strike commander as they walked, watching him try to enjoy his own bitter sweet treat.

“Hey Gabe,” Jack broke the silence softly, the slightest hesitation in his voice.

“Whats up?” His attention was drawn to Jack’s face. The man seemed nervous and that was making Gabriel feel nervous.

“Thanks,” The gratitude hung heavily in the air between them.

“It’s no big deal,” He tried to wave it off, sticking more ice cream in his mouth. 

“It kind of is,” Jack muttered back softly. “You didn’t have to do any of this,” Gabriel merely shrugged it off, not trusting his voice at the moment. “I’m serious Gabe. You pull me out of bed, sneak me off base, despite the potential consequences, so I can have a dinner I’ve been talking about having for years. I got to escape being the strike commander for a few hours for the first time in I don’t even know how long. I really needed this Gabe. Thank you,”

“You really should get away more often Jackie. You’re working yourself into an early grave,”

“Its the job I signed up for,” Jack sighed, ingesting his own big scoop of ice cream.

“You shouldn’t run yourself ragged like this,” He continued when Jack didn’t respond. “We all worry about you,” Jack stopped mid stride, tensing at the words, his shoulders squaring like he was preparing for a fight. Gabriel stopped, chastising himself, mind racing to find the right thing to say to avert an argument. He came up with nothing, so he simply reminded himself to stay calm and not get upset just because Jack was yelling. Jack opened his mouth and sighed, deflating.

“I’m sorry,”

“About what?”

“A lot of things,” Jack sighed. “But right now, about getting upset while you’re just trying to help.”

“It’s okay Jackie. I know how much stress you’re under,” Gabriel replied, attempting to smile reassuringly. “I’m not gonna get mad because you snapped a little.”

“Thank you,” Jack repeated softly. “For everything.”

“You might not feel the same way when we're cooking. I can be quite the taskmaster,” Jack grinned weakly back at that.

“The return of commander hardass?” They began walking again, shortly reaching the car.

“Oh he never left. You just don't see it because I'm not your commander anymore,”

“At the very least I should be pretty good by the time I finish, even if the guy in charge is kind of an asshole,’ Gabriel chuckled at the jab as they got into the car together.

The ride back was quiet. At some point Jack turned the radio on and the sound of music he didn't recognize filled the car. It wasn't particularly uncomfortable at the very least, but Gabriel was still kicking himself for turning things to such a sour note near the end. They made it back to base without incident, no one was going to stop and bother Gabriel. They made it back to Jack’s quarters with no one apparently having noticed his absence.

“Thank you again for this evening Gabe,” The door opened with a slight whooshing sound as Jack spoke. “It was wonderful.” He stepped inside, turning to face Gabriel with a smile.  
“Oh well,” The words he wanted to speak got stuck in his throat. “It was nothing really,” Was all he managed to get out. They stood their, on opposite sides of the doorway awkwardly for several seconds.

“I should probably get some sleep since I have the opportunity right now,” Jack scratched the back of his neck.

“Sounds like a good idea yeah,” Gabriel replied softly. There were so many other things he wanted to say, to do. He froze up, like usual when faced with talking about his feelings with Jack and simply said. “I’ll see ya round,”

“Yeah. Good night Gabe,” 

The door closed with another whoosh and instead of Jack’s soft smile and bright blue eyes, he was staring at dull lifeless metal. He buried his head in his hands cursing quietly. This had been just about the perfect time to talk to him about what was going on between them and he had frozen up and missed it. It seemed like they were both trying, if Gabriel wasn’t misreading things. But, they were both hesitating to put any of it into words. He stood there for a few minutes, berating himself and trying to build up enough courage to actually do something for once.

His hands moved quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, putting in the code he had to Jack’s room to talk to him about this, to stop running away. He was not sure exactly what he was going to say, but he was worried that if it wasn’t said now, it would never happen at all. He had not expected the door to open and see Jack standing on the other side staring back at him, as if the blonde had been standing on the other side of the door thinking about what had just happened as well. They stared at eachother awkwardly for a few moments before Gabriel found his voice.

“Can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah sure,” Jack moved to one side of the door, gesturing for Gabriel to enter. He gathered every ounce of courage he had and walked in. He turned to face Jack as the door closed behind him and he swallowed thickly.

“We need to talk,”


	10. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get this out sooner, but I had trouble. Sorry for how long this has taken.

Gabriel wasn’t sure what was more surprising, the fact that he had worked up the nerve to actually say that, or that Jack had managed to say the exact same thing in near unison. Jack’s words hung heavy over him, even though he knew they were true and his own were probably affecting Jack in much the same way. They stood together in silence paralyzed for several seconds before Jack broke the spell, grabbing Gabriel’s hand and softly pulling him away from the door. They found their way to the couch that the strike commander clearly never uses and sat together in silence for a few more seconds. He scanned the room quickly, noting sadly, that there were few nonwork related objects in the room at all. There was even a mission folder on the table in front of the couch. Did the man ever stop working?

“Gabe,” The voice, soft and quiet, pulled him out of his thoughts and back to reality. Jack breathed in deeply, clearly steeling himself for whatever he was about to say. “I’m sorry,” His voice had steadied as the apology came out, though his body was still tense.

“It’s fine,” Gabriel replied casually. Dismissing the need for an apology out of hand.

“No it’s not,” Jack snapped at him, body tensing even more, his shoulders squaring like he was ready for a fight. He seemed to realize what he was doing moments later and visibly deflated. “It’s really not,” He insisted, more calmly than before. 

“I didn’t say everything was perfect,” Gabriel was compromising their positions here, which was usually Jack’s job. “Just said it was okay,” Jack seemed to pause for a moment, considering how to continue. Eventually he seemed to decide not to press that particular point.

“I really never thought for a moment that they were trying to sandbag you,” 

“I know,” 

“I really thought you had turned it down and had recommended me for the job,” Jack repeated softly, hands clenched into tight fists in his lap.

“I believe you,” He really did. It was not that Jack was incapable of lying, far from it really. The man was honestly scarily good at it. It was so easy for him to get people to want to believe him that he could pass off some of the most ridiculous things as truths and people just trusted him. The thing about Jack was that he was loyal, often to a fault and he considered lying a betrayal of trust, despite being so good at it. He could count on one hand the number of times Jack had lied directly to him in all the years they had known each other. When he thought about it, the thought of this man conspiring to steal the promotion from him was laughable at best. “I’m not angry at you,”

“You have every right to be,” Gabriel wasn’t going to argue that point.

“I haven’t exactly been handling things well either in case you haven’t noticed,”

“As I said. You have every right to hate me,” The conviction with which Jack spoke such damning words had his stomach doing flips. Jack had always been quicker to point out his own flaws than anyone else’s. He can’t imagine how much the man has beaten himself up over this. 

“Why would I hate you?”

“I never apologized,” Jack’s voice was quiet again, the words an accusation.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Gabriel insisted softly.

“I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. There’s a difference.” Jack’s gaze caught his own, tears slowly forming. “I hurt you and never even said I was sorry,”

“It wasn’t your fault,”

“How was me taking your job without even talking to you not my fault?”

“You simply trusted Adawe,”

“I shouldn’t have,”

“You gave me Blackwatch and supported me even when I was being difficult,” He admitted his own faults and how Jack had tried to make things right, in his own way.

“You deserved better than what I gave you,” 

“So did you,” Gabriel countered easily.

“I’m sorry,” Jack repeated his apology. “I should have told you years ago, should’ve just sat down and talked about what happened,”

“Better late than never,” Gabriel smiled softly. “It’s not like I made talking about it easy,” There was another uncomfortable silence, Jack averted his eyes, his stare a million miles away.

“I thought about resigning, back then.” The words broke the silence, Jack’s eyes focused again, though still pointedly avoiding Gabriel’s gaze. “When I found out what had happened.” Gabriel didn’t interrupt. It had taken a long time for Jack to start talking and he didn’t want to stop him. “But then I thought about it for a while and I figured that I was a better fit for the job,”

Gabriel tensed at the words. He had not meant to do so, had even tried to stop himself from reacting, but it had happened all the same. Of course Jack had noticed it and Gabriel saw him clam up, shutting down again and he wanted to scream. Instead, he forced himself to remain calm and placed hand on Jack’s shoulder, softly encouraging him until he could work up the nerve to talk again.

“I knew it was a glorified desk job. More time would be spent at galas honoring rich assholes than would be spent in the field,” Jack’s voice returned, shakier than before, but he was talking again. “You would have been wasted as Strike Commander,”

“Yeah. I would probably have hated the job. Dealing with all of those self important generals and world leaders was bad enough during the crisis,”

“That wasn’t the point though,” Jack replied softly, not willing to continue with that train of thought.. “I know you would have been miserable, but I still should have talked to you, asked your opinion, discussed options, resigned if you asked it of me.”

“Yes, you should have,” Gabriel had expected Jack to react poorly to the accusation, no matter how softly he delivered it. What he hadn’t expected was what appeared to be a sigh of relief. Jack’s body had relaxed slightly at the admission that he was indeed at fault. It seemed that the man wanted to actually talk about things, not be reassured that he did nothing wrong. “Why didn’t you?”

“Honestly,” Jack began, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I was afraid you would ask me to resign,”

“Really?” He couldn’t keep the incredulity out of his voice.

“Yeah. If you had asked me to, I would have done so in a heartbeat,” Realization dawned on him slowly.

“You wanted the position?”

“Yes,” Jack’s voice was practically a whisper. 

“Jack…” Gabriel’s immediate reaction was to insist that he would not have asked that of him, but he stopped himself as he opened his mouth. He remembered being beyond simply angry at the time. Angry Gabe often said things he didn’t mean.

“I really wanted it, thought I could do a good job.” Jack stared off at nothing while he spoke, gaze slowly returning as he continued. “It won't matter too much anymore,” He added with a sigh.

“What do you mean?” Gabriel’s eyes narrowed, watching as Jack’s gaze darted guiltily to the file on the table in front of them. He snatched it before the blonde could stop him and nearly ripped the documents he found in half.

“I’m handing it in on Monday,” Jack answered his unspoken question matter-of-factly.

“What the hell Jack?”

“I’m recommending you to replace me Gabe,” He answered back.

“No!” Jack stared at him, confused at his outburst. “You are not just leaving,”

“Of course not. I’m going to stick around for a few months to help you acclimate to your new job.”

“Then what?”

“Probably head back home for a bit,” Jack shrugged. “Maybe I’ll stick around the farm,”

“Not happening,”

“Excuse me?”

“You hated that farm Jack,” It came out as an accusation, one that the blonde had no answer to. “You are not going back to that,”

“I didn’t hate the farm,” Jack objected eventually, gaze, once again, averted.

“I know. You just didn’t want to be trapped there until you died,” He repeated those old words back to the blonde. “That's exactly what you’ll do if you go back there Jack. You’ll lose yourself in working on the farm and then you’ll die and be buried there and I will have broken my promise to you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Gabriel reached out slowly, hand cupping Jack’s face gently, angling it upwards until their eyes met.

“You don’t get to decide that,” Gabriel insisted, voice turning hard and commanding. The blonde tried to turn away, but his hand kept the man in place, their gazes locked. “I made a promise,” 

“You didn't promise to support a terrible commander while he drove everything into the ground,” Jack averted his eyes. Even if he could not move his head away from Gabriel, he didn’t have to meet the man’s gaze. The words weren’t spoken bitterly, simply resigned. How deeply his insults had affected Jack felt like a knife through his heart. His grip tightened and he forced the blonde’s attention back onto him.

“Don’t you dare say that!” Even Gabriel was surprised by how angry he had sounded, gaze piercing. “You are a great commander,” The second part was calmer, though he was still clearly agitated.

“We both know that’s not true,” Jack tore himself from Gabriel’s grip forcefully and looked away.

“It is true,” Gabriel insisted. “And if I had pulled my head out of my ass at some point in the last few years I would have told you that before now.” They both fell silent, the words slowly sinking in.

“Things are falling apart,” Jack tried to argue.

“I never would have made it this far Jack,” Gabriel countered.

“You’re brilliant Gabe,” Jack shot back, glancing back over nervously.

“And terrible at dealing with assholes that you talk to everyday.” Jack looked like he was ready to argue with him at the claim. “You know I would’ve killed someone by now.” The blonde actually smirked momentarily at the thought. “That's why you handled a lot of that even during the crisis.” 

It was the truth too, something that Gabriel never asked for, never had to. Jack had stepped in frequently, on his own, to deal with the various generals and presidents, or whatever title they had, that thought they knew better than Gabriel when it started to grow obvious that he couldn’t handle it any longer. Jack was the one who garnered their cooperation frequently while Gabriel made sure they all survived through the war. Jack rescued him from that aspect of the job often. It was almost certainly why Adawe had gotten Jack the Strike Commander position over Gabriel, or at least was the valid reason why.

“I’m tired Gabe,” The man looked ready to collapse at any moment. That was bad enough, but they both knew it was about more than missing a little bit of sleep.

“I know, but this time I’ll be here to actually help,” A look flashed through the blonde’s eyes that Gabriel couldn’t quite read at the implicit promise. After a tense moment Jack sighed and seemed to deflate, collapsing back into the couch.

“It’s late,” Jack eventually declared aloud, though he made seemingly no effort to move from his spot on the couch.. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he was supposed to read that as a dismissal or not, but regardless, he didn’t move either. The two of them laid back against couch together, exhaustion weighing down on him suddenly. He had not realized how tired he was until then.

Jack’s head slumped, finding its way to Gabriel’s shoulder, resting there, the man leaning heavily onto him. He did not react immediately, briefly stunned by the action. The amount of trust on display at such a simple action Gabriel, but before he could pull himself together the blonde had begun to snore softly. He debated what he should do internally, before deciding he didn’t want to wake the man up. Instead he simply adjusted his own position slowly, careful not to disturb the blonde, until he was somewhat comfortable and tried to get some sleep himself. Jack really needed some sleep and they could finish talking in the morning.


End file.
